something is very wrong when you start counting down to 1730 everyday.

what is worse than that?

not even knowing whether you can knock off at 1730.

i haven't been feeling not even the tiniest bit of motivation at work ever since i got back from my long vacation. maybe the engine decided not to start at all, but time is running out.

peak officially starts next week and here comes the non-stop "you're expected to have no plans on weekday nights and working past midnights are taken for granted" days.

a year ago, i accepted that gracefully. but after having been through it once, the dread that those days are coming back again is beyond any description i have anymore. all i know is i'm scared and i dun want those days to come at all.

if giving out so much will eventually return in some form of appreciation or that rewards are given based on pure meritocracy, perhaps there is another reason to work towards to. but the thing is, life is not like that.

life is unfair, period.
and it is the same here.

so we try to look forward and seek greener pastures.
but who is to say that the next land is a greener pasture?

is life unfair everywhere?

looking back at 2010, i try so hard to recall what are the big achievements i have made.

other than being more recognised at work, finally going through lasik successfully and having the chance to step into the Big Apple city, i can't seem to remember what else has 2010 brought me.

oh my goodness. so this is what the past (almost) 365 days has brought me.
what a far cry from my schooling days, really.

please let 2011 be a better and happier year.

but no matter how much it seems that i've muddled through the past year, i'm so thankful for all the friends that are still with me since school days as well as the colleagues that are the best support in my everyday life.

that is one thing to be grateful for. this i know. =)