expectations deem all emotions.

through experiences, i have learnt to adjust expectations so as to allow room for myself to stay satisfied and happy.

but sometimes,
i wonder if i have given myself too much room.
such that i am not requesting enough from myself.

which leads to an easier accomplishment of satisfaction.
but not a thaaaaaat outstanding performance.

results were released this morning and the first thought that came across my mind was that......
i dun have to take stats again with grp A ppl next sem!
and i actually got more than a minimal pass for stats so i must say that its really a great relief.
which brings me back to the last day of exam after the stats paper, when i was physically so sick and felt that my stats was gone case.
but gleeeeen and mormor kept telling me that i wont fail.
HAVE FAITH.
yes i remember those words by gleeeeen.
lol.
really hope to be able to change into the same classes as my proj mates for next sem.

well anyway, the past few days have been spent meeting up with old frens.
i love meeting old frens.
the anticipation of seeing them cos its not that easy to meet up.
the warm feeling during the meetup.
the happiness knowing that despite not seeing each other often, the chemistry is always there.

i met up with my piano ens girls and i just feel so happy being with the group of them!
we didnt do much, but its like there seems no difference from sitting down in vj's concourse back then as a group and chatting as usual.
whereas in actual fact, a yr has already gone by.
and besides from missing the times that we spent tgr, i realise that i miss playing duets, miss the laughters that can erupt from committing playing errors, and i actually miss coaching too!
hahaha.
and of cos, i miss vj's performance theatre.

i.miss.the.stage.

of cos, we all get jitters when it comes to performing onstage, but what can replace the overwhelming applause and the appreciation u feel when family and friends come to support u?
seriously, nothing.
sigh.

i also met up with donna for our routine chatting sessions, sth which we had made a point to keep to since our vj days.
hahaha i love you girl!
its the first time i got a taste of her driving skills and yeah its really cool. =)

mich came back from london with her london treats!
thanks so much for making the efforts and also to meet me the next day again to pass me the earrings! =)
we attended a reeeaaally interesting party organised by jackie, one of our ex-colleagues.
who called me the nxt day and i found out that the police eventually came cos of the volume of the party.
lol.

also met up with jas, my longest-standing fren! (how long has it been... 10 yrs and more huh... haha)
we went to cut our hair tgr and yeah, i chopped quite alot of my hair off cos i was getting quite sick of my very long hair.
so i thought that i wont really feel a big loss.
especially since i've been there, done that. (had chopped long hair off for a change back in j2 too)
but this time round, i feel quite sad after i left the saloon.
ah yes yes, i know alot of ppl have been saying that its not that big a difference, cos its still considered long hair.
butttttt........
ah oh wells.
lol.

well perhaps when something has been there for too long a time, even though i may be prepared for the loss of it, somehow when it really happens, i still feel the pang.
but of cos,
everything's just a matter of getting used to.

although i'm not a christian, i love the festive mood that christmas brings with it.
this christmas season is so filled with love and happiness and i hope that everyone will have a merry christmas!

21st dec.
vega xmas party plus wanting's bday celebration at yao's place.
i think its the FIRST gathering that the most no. of ppl from our og turned up ever since the orientation camp days.
haha.
fang n estelle really deserve a pat on their back for being wonderful organisers!

The christmas tree filled with our presents for the present exchange!

look at that cute christmas hat!

discovered a very interesting game called "I Never" that night.
if u're planning for xmas parties programmes especially drinking games, let me know and i shall explain the game to u! lol.

22nd dec.
project group outing!
i had gone to sha's house the previous day to bake cookies for the rest of our proj mates.
haha well, baking/chatting/watching tv session.

we baked HUMONGOUS heart-shaped cookies and round cookies as well.
in the end, xiaowei n cheryl couldnt turn up for dinner, so only gleen and mormor got to taste our cookies baked with love.
hahaha.
they praised that it was not bad, yay!
and they sounded like they really meant it. (well, i hope)
lol.

delicious dinner at fish n co and then we walked from city hall to orchard to view the christmas lights and saw various christmas trees along the way.
town was so so so crowded.

(photos of the cookies and christmas trees shall be posted soon!)

oh and before the dinner, sha and i went to watch The Holiday (since the guys couldnt join us in the afternoon).
I simply love the dialogue in the movie.
its a nice show to watch during the Christmas season cos it'll make you feel very Christmasy.
and Jude Law just makes us go awwwwwww......
so we start to hope that Santa will bring 2 judelaws for the both of us.
hahaha.

anyway, gleen said that all the stalls in can14(my fav canteen in ntu) are not going to renew their contract nxt sem anymore!
no more ban mian.
no more dumpling soup.
no more jap tofu.
no more breakfast set.
no more ice-milo.
haiz.
the yummy food there was part of those memories where my proj mates n i spent so much time in hall 14 doing projects and mugging during exam period.
so gonna miss the food.

oh.
and talking abt ntu reminds me that exam results are gonna be out sooooooooon.
omg. 

i wish to fly.

fly away from the haunting past.
fly away from the suffocating fear.

it's been a good break so far, and i'm so glad for it.
during sch term, i'm always busy coping with different activities and sch work, so much so that i hardly have time for myself.
so during this hols, i'm very happy that i have some me-time to do the things that i like such as watching dvds, reading novels and getting in touch with my piano. next up on my list is to get started on my running regimen. hahaha.

also managed to meet up with frens who i seldom get to see during sch term.
chilled out with my pirateys n nat.
shopping with jas reminds me of the wonders of retail therapy. i simply miss the 5 days of madness we had in bkk in july. lol.(lucky girl is in bkk now. hmmm nvm, come nxt may/june, we shall hit bkk tgr again!!!)
supposed to go to Timbre, a cool chill-out place with a good live band, with my project mates, but eventually it was cancelled. nvm, we shall make plans again. =)

hmmm lots of frens are either overseas now or going out of sg soon.
ming, yc, jas, xiaowei, donna, mich, roomie.
waiting for everyone to come back so i can see them again!
meanwhile, FOC stuff will keep me busy next wk.

anyway went to give out notification flyers at Bedok South today for FOC canvassing project.
the HDB estate is acty kind of opposite my alma mater, ahs.
somehow will just feel that time really flies.
we saw some new HDB flats,(big contrast to the old flats that we went to give out flyers to) and i was telling my frens that that was just a piece of barren land when i was in sec1.
jiayuan said i sound like i'm very old, recalling the good old times.
hahaha oh well.

oh and after the whole thing ended, most of my frens in the group took the train towards city hall while only james and i took the train towards tamp.
when we stepped into the train, james saw his junior whose 1st sentence blurted out as "wah, bring gf out ah?"
i burst out laughing while james must have found it quite amusing too

jumping to conclusions lead to perceptions being formed.
and its quite funny how some of these things can turn out to be.

by the way, frens in army have been sharing sth thought-provoking and i thought it wld be nice to spread this arnd too. =)

Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habit.
Watch your habit, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for they become your destiny.

girls night out with my vega dearies, fang n estelle, at vivocity on sat night.
hordes and hordes of ppl milling arnd.
great place to shop but not that great a place to dine in.

anyway the company was great and it just feels nice to have updates on each other's lives.
esp estelle, whom fang n i haven seen for like... hmmm... 2 mths or so, despite being in the same sch.
its an undeniable fact that it takes effort to keep in touch with ppl.

conversations on FOC (freshmen orientation camp) and attending FOC meetings always make me look forward to nxt year's FOC very much.
maybe cos its a time when everyone just have fun tgr for 5 straight days.
maybe cos we're seniors so its our time to have an upperhand over our juniors.
maybe its a time to get the whole og back tgr again and hopefully have even more fun tgr since we've known each other better.

but haha, how many will come back for senior camp, for foc, and for canvassing projects??

me: the sem passed so quickly
lixiang (my fellow biz mag): yeah, nvm just tahan one more sem, one more series of exams, then we can go FOC to PLAY!!!
me: hahaha yup.
lixiang: but first, we gotta find more sponsors.

ah yes yes yes, find more sponsors.

oh and some interesting info here.

for those of u who read the newspapers, u shld have known that SDU has disintegrated and is no longer under the government body.
SDU has been our biggest and long-lasting sponsor so far, sponsoring up to abt 5K for just one camp, abt 40% of our budget.
and now, there's a possibility that they may not want to sponsor our camp anymore due to the organizational change. (woah, OB concept. lol)

and then, if they arent going to sponsor us anymore, we have to approach matchmaking agencies for sponsorship.
who will then want to enter my particulars into their database when i approach them.
hahaha omg.

anyone up for speed dating or matchmaking??
i can shun bian help u to enter ur particulars when i approach them for sponsorship.
hahaha.
larger incentive for them to give us sponsorships when more ppl sign up with them. ;)